Uncategorized

Hair today, gone tomorrow

This is another one of those cars I just accidentally bought one day. It happens annoyingly frequently to me, and most people just won’t believe it’s possible to purchase a car by accident. I can assure you it is, as the state of my driveway currently will testify.

I’d heard about this particular car third-hand, but was put-off specifically by all the issues I’d had with another Jaguar in the recent past.. that and the guy selling it was something of a character, but you take that as normal now.

Anyway, it’s a 1998 Jaguar XJ-S v12:

Reddest thing ever?

It’s got 70-something k on it and about two years ago it had a full pro respray in OEM Grenadier Red. The seller claimed it had taken a full week of wet sanding and re-cutting to get it looking this good.. and boy, does it look good. The paint is absolutely flawless, and it’s a red that’s just different enough to be interesting.

Unfortunately, spending several grand on a paint job means you can’t afford to fix any of the car’s actual problems. The seats are a bit worn, the dash wood has seen better days, one of the rockers has a minor oil leak, and it’s got no headliner. Yes, really.. the headliner is gone, leaving you looking up at the shiny fibreglass backing pad that’s supposed to have foam and over-ostentatious cloth trim affixed to it.

Mechanically, it’s a mixed bag too. The car was actually taken off the road because of a severe brake fluid leak (which is as good a reason as any), which turned out to be a bodged back brake union. Jaguars with inboard brakes are notoriously difficult to work on, and hacks such as this are all too common.. especially when Jaguar want $90 for a four-inch piece of brake pipe. Also, I suppose the complete absence of any rubber in the transmission mount did go some way to explain the annoying clonking every time you drive over anything resembling a bump.

On the other hand, all of these little niggles have now been fixed, and it ventured gingerly out onto the road for the first time yesterday. I love XJ-S’s, especially the late 80s ones – partly because they’re downright sexy and a blast to drive, but mostly because they’re one of the few cars that actually look fast when they’re sitting still.

Oh, what to do.. what to do.

By tedlit, ago

Proof that I don’t always drive superior British cars? It’s real

In response to some utterly unfounded and frankly libellous statements suggesting that I refuse to drive any car that isn’t a) British, and b) at least partially broken, I present the following evidence:

The wheels are real.

This is a 2009 Mustang GT, pictured at Muir Beach, CA on November 5th 2009. There’s a fine British pub here, where they have a giant bonfire every November 5th. I just happened to be in San Francisco for more fun training that week, and just happened to have a free evening to watch people set fire to things on the beach. Enormous fun for all and I have the best Mobile mechanic Miami has.

Anyway, back to the car. I had (through work, obviously) reserved a hip-and-trendy Toyota Corolla, doubtless in grey on grey and fitted with the optional economy light and go-slower stripes. I would not have been surprised had it come with pipe and slippers. However, after making friends with the extremely bored girl at the Hertz desk in downtown SF, I found myself in possession of the above electric blue Mustang and an entire day to kill. So, after spending two hours waiting at the Sprint repair centre for my phone to be fixed (number six now), I sped off over the Golden Gate in search of a proper driving road.

(If your mental image at this point is one of wide open spaces, glorious sunshine, and stoned people selling taffy – you’re sadly wrong. This was early November, so all the tourists had gone home and it was raining)

I know virtually nil about the geography of the Bay Area, except how to get places by train – so this was new to me. I know the 101 is the popular road, but this is nothing more than a four-lane mess clogged with RVs, trailers, caravans, minivans, and Subaru drivers. Highway 1 seemed like a much better bet, particularly as it looked like spaghetti on the map. So, after marvelling at the scenery once clear of Sausalito, I attempted to figure out what the manual gearbox was for and set off towards the beach.

This particular part of California looks a lot like North Devon. Twisty, narrow roads full of potholes.. 20mph speed limits through the villages but virtually none in between.. light but constant drizzle.. and a sheer dropoff one side of the road all the way to the coast. Obviously, this was a recipe for over-enthusiastic driving and I found myself at the beach rather too quickly. The car growls, it whines, it groans, it screeches – and occasionally it clunks and coughs as its suspension came straight out of 1955. I’m not sure if Ford were trying to recreate the feeling that you were in some way driving the school bully, but that’s very much what it feels like.

I put 250 miles on that car that day, just driving round the bay and attempting to get over the Bay Bridge before any more of it fell down. Enormous fun, but don’t tell anyone.

By tedlit, ago

Cars I miss, but shouldn’t – #1

Things I miss, but shouldn’t – #1. The 1993 Rover Vitesse.

I bought this little wonder in 2004 as a stop-gap measure whilst commuting weekly to Oxford and waiting for the Primera to get fixed. It cost me a hundred and eighty quid, and came with a years’ MoT. Of course, I’d find out later that there’s no way it should’ve ever passed, but it had the enormous benefit of being big, comfy, able to hold a week’s worth of my crap, and – most importantly – working air conditioning. It also had an oh-so-manly boot spoiler, but we won’t talk about that.

This particular one was a 2-litre turbo that hadn’t really been mucked about with, but was shovelling out around 230bhp. Not a lot by most modern performance car standards, but if you could tolerate the gearbox whine it’d do 140mph without complaining. Supposedly.

It was one of the last things we sold before moving to the US in 2006, and I actually made twenty quid back on it in the process. I put 20k on it in that time, and it is sorely missed, at least partly because it left many any M3 owner open-mouthed at having been overtaken by something as common and rubbish as a Rover.

I’d love to have one again – but sadly the Sterling is about as close as I’m going to get, seeing as US sales stopped in 1991 – right as the mk2 was introduced. On the other hand, free imports start at 21 years old.. so only another two years to go. Will there be any left that haven’t rusted away by then?

Seems unlikely.

By tedlit, ago

What’s missing from this picture?

What’s missing from this picture?

If your answer was “John Cleese and a big stick”, have a biscuit – you’re right.

This was the only BMC-anything 1100 at the 2010 Portland All British Field Meet… and it’s immaculate and red.. and the wonderful staging opportunity of a six foot seven cardboard cutout of John Cleese and a big tree branch has been sadly missed!

By tedlit, ago

When it’s 90F outside…

Remember that Stag from a few posts down, and a few weeks ago? Well, this is what it looks like now:

OK, so that’s not exactly a great deal different… but under that California-faded paint is a good paint job struggling to get through. It also belies the amount of work that’s gone on under the hood – and under the car, as it happens.

This one is right hand drive (as is given away by the steering wheel being on the correct side and the British license plate, duh) and has a Rover v8 conversion. The engine conversion is actually pretty good – it’s still got the Triumph 4-speed o/d box mounted – but the ancilliaries could’ve been done better by a five year old. All fixed now.. well, as best as I can fix it, anyway.. and aside from spongy brakes and no choke cable it’s almost ready to hit the road again.

By tedlit, ago

Perhaps a little too optimistic?

There are project cars, and then there are project cars. I’ve never broken a car, but I’ve had plenty of bits off of other people’s parts cars. This little beauty above isn’t really either of those things, but it’s much more of a project than anything I’ve attempted before – except for the Stag, but that kind of goes without saying.

It’s a 1998 Jaguar XJ8. It’s got 130-something k miles on it, and it doesn’t run. It has one of the more fantastic Jaguar quirks – a gearbox that’s stuck in fourth. The previous owner sensibly didn’t drive it like that, which is a rarity in itself – but unfortunately, it sat for a while.. and thanks to the awesome Northwest weather, the fuel tank got water in it. This means the entire fuel system got waterlogged, so it won’t even start now. Not that you could go anywhere in it anyway.

Aside from this (admittedly fundamental) problem, there’s very little wrong with it. The roof paint is a bit faded, but it’s such a weird colour I don’t think that’s an issue. It’s one of the first “pearl” paint finishes – Anthracite Pearl – which is really just “grey metallic”, but we’ll leave that one for now.

Anyone who knows Jaguars would know that 1998 was the first year for the v8 in the XJ – and the 1998-99 years also suffer from having Nikasil cylinder liners. I’m going on the principle that it’s survived twelve years without a problem, so this is likely not a bad one. That, and it’s not supercharged – which tends to finish the liners off sooner rather than later.

Onwards and upwards, eh.

By tedlit, ago

What’s for tea, Mother? Shadows and lies?

I finally did it. I bought a (non-fun) Range Rover.

After years of laughing at them, this one was just too good to turn down. I couldn’t help myself. Obviously, by “good” I mean “cheap”. Failed air suspension, pulling to the left, saggy headliner, no climate control, broken exhaust, busted radio, burnt-out fusebox, light guards wood-screwed direct to the tailgate.. it’s got the lot.

It’s a 1995, and is build number 0000000000000076. I wouldn’t call myself an “early adopter”, but that number seems pretty low.  Hopefully the rest of it will stay working long enough to fix all the stuff that’s broken!

By tedlit, ago

A biscuit to anyone who can identify four cars…

…and a Jammie Dodger to anyone who can identify all six.

I was idly walking around British Auto Works, and saw this little gem in the corner. Actually, it was a vomit brown Morris Marina that actually caught my eye – as well as a “Tobacco Leaf ” (OK, also vomit brown) P6B. I have no idea where they find all these cars from, but it’s starting to give my barn some serious competition.

By tedlit, ago

Why we take batteries out before storing

This is what happens if you take a 1971 Stag, drive it until 1978 when the engine gives up, and then store it until 2007. You will of course remember to carefully drain and replace all the fluids, seal the interior, and cover the car correctly. What you will forget is to remove the original British Leyland battery, which over the next 29 years will disintegrate, filling your front valance with battery acid.. which in turn will disintegrate, taking the entire battery box, half the radiator, the fan, and most of the front bumper with it.

By tedlit, ago

The world of Right Hand Drive

See how flat that back tyre is? This car last moved in 2002.

This is a 1970 Triumph Stag. It was owned by a stupid person in the Bay Area. It’s now sitting in my driveway, close enough to be mine but far enough away that it won’t start (another) fire when I start it.

It’s got a Rover v8 mated to the original 4-speed o/d box, and has a hole in the gas tank big enough to put your arm through. It also uses more oil than fuel, but it’s right hand drive, yellow, and mine.

Also, notice how the doors don’t fit right? They’re original – as proved by the reams of photos and receipts that came with it – but they are composed almost entirely of rust and filler. That’s OK, because the car came with four new doors (yes, it’s a two door with six doors), but I have one honeysuckle door, one french blue door, one mallard blue door, and one green door now. Aren’t I lucky?

By admin, ago