What’s for tea, Mother? Shadows and lies?

I finally did it. I bought a (non-fun) Range Rover.

After years of laughing at them, this one was just too good to turn down. I couldn’t help myself. Obviously, by “good” I mean “cheap”. Failed air suspension, pulling to the left, saggy headliner, no climate control, broken exhaust, busted radio, burnt-out fusebox, light guards wood-screwed direct to the tailgate.. it’s got the lot.

It’s a 1995, and is build number 0000000000000076. I wouldn’t call myself an “early adopter”, but that number seems pretty low.  Hopefully the rest of it will stay working long enough to fix all the stuff that’s broken!

It’s SO UNFAIR!

I have a 1986 Jaguar XJ-S. I dragged it out of a hedge in Seattle in late 2008, where it had sat for a good few years. Someone had attempted to “upgrade” the headlights (to modern H4 lights) and had burnt out most of the front electrics… and inevitably lost interest in the poor car.

It’s only got 65k miles on it.. and drivetrain-wise, it’s all original.. which means a 5.3 v12 mated to a GM TH400 transmission.

It didn’t take too much to get it running – a new ignition amplifier, new rotor arm, and a good fuel system flush. It did, however, take *months* to track down a persistent misfire (note: a v11 doesn’t sound anywhere near as good as a v12), and a good bit longer to get the electrics working well enough that the headlamps work.

Unfortunately, after all this work, it turns out that the transmission’s toast – it reverses just fine, but slips horribly in any forward gear now. I managed to put about 500 miles on it before this manifested itself, so I’m guessing one of the clutch packs has just had enough. This is a colossal shame, and is hugely unfair.. but I guess I can’t really complain… or can I?

The Triumph Stag. What did it ever do?

So I have a bit of a thing for Triumph Stags. When I was but a small boy, cars I drew looked like one of two things.. a Mini, or a Stag. This is unfortunate, because a Stag is just about the least reliable British car it’s possible to own. Granted, most of the problems are now well-known and can be sorted.. but this has its consequences.

Firstly, Triumph only sold 2500 Stags in the US between 1970 and 1973. In my estimation, maybe half of these are left.. and of those, maybe half have had the engine switched because the original melted/combusted/exploded. As it left the factory, the Stag has eight of the most fragile cylinders ever put under a bonnet.

The other side-effect of the Stag’s well-known reliability problems is this:

I currently have three Stags. The above two came from a guy who also had three.. but he restored one, decided it was too much effort, and sold the other two to me. The one on the left has been Frankensteined with a 283 Chevy engine, and obviously has been outside for long time.. even though there’s no rust whatsoever *inside*. It also – after some coaxing – runs and drives (unfortunately it doesn’t stop yet).

The one on the trailer is a very early 1970 – in fact, it’s about ten cars earlier than the earliest US-spec “normal production” Stags known to the registry. Unfortunately, despite good bodywork, most of this car is in bits in my garage.  It did come with two engines though – a Capri v6, and the Stag v8 (suspiciously missing one timing cover).

Hmm.